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Shite
Mike Stools
What is there that's more serene
Than the glisten on the aubergine?
What on God's earth is akin
To that gleam upon purple skin?
To see the sun reflected so
Will always lift you when you're low.
So when your life is in a mess
Just gaze upon its pure brightness.
Oh aubergine, oh aubergine,
Delightful be thy glimmer
By contrast other vegetables'
Reflections are much dimmer.
What, pray tell me, could supplant
The sparkle of a fine eggplant?
To denigrate its luminosity
Is the pinnacle of pomposity.
You don't need a feather duster
To buff up its marvellous lustre,
Just the sun's caressing rays
Are sufficient for its glaze.
Oh aubergine, oh aubergine,
Pray lift me with your light.
Without your dazzling glisten
My life's a crock of shite.
What is there that can compare
With that brilliant shining glare?
Travel far across the briny,
You'll never see a thing so shiny.
And even when it starts to wrinkle
The eggplant's sheen beats any star's twinkle.
I'd happily sing and do a silly dance
In celebration of the aubergine's brilliance.
Oh aubergine, oh aubergine,
Oh how I love your gloss
You make all other vegetables
Look a pile of toss.
Oh aubergine, oh aubergine
How I admire your glitter.
You can take all other vegetables
And stick them up your shitter.
Oh aubergine, oh aubergine,
The finest on the planet.
To you I dedicate these words...
OK, you're right, I'll can it.
